so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
