I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
