We're facebook friends in real life
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
