ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he shaved USA in his pubs
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
