she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
