i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
