before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
