im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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