You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
