Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
third nipple confirmed
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
