I got chris browned last night
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
