And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How external is "for external use only"?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
