Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize