I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
