Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
