I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
