in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
whose parrot is this?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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