Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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