why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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