? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Randomize
