We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize