I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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