And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
