worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
