I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
