If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
