so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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