If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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