question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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