i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
