I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
