so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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