That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
