All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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