i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
