At least make sure they are 18
Why
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize