My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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