what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
