i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
