How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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