She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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