oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize