well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
