I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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