I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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