Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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