But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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