You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
