i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
