It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize