One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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