There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
