He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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