Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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