dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
