girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
