would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
