pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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