i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
