I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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