Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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