I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
