i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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