she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
