Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
