There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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