I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
