I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
