Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
