so that wasnt chicken after all
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
