Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize