There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
