im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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