Jerry, you need to find god
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
