Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
